Mass Effect: A Drunken Haze
by Prizzma
Summary: What happens if you drink too much and pass out? You wake up in strange palces surrounded by a bunch of aliens. This is my attempt at a Self Insert. Let me know what you think and I might continue on. Rated M for Language/Drug and Alolchol/and maybe sexytime. Some humor and some angst and adventure.
1. Chapter 1: Roofie Colada

**A/N: Well it finally happened! I got drunk and decided I could write (which i cant) and tried my hand at an SI. Well here it is let me know if it sucks or not and please be specific if I decided to continue this I would like to know what I have to fix.**

**Disclaimer: This will be the one and only one I do. I do not own and Mass Effect characters they all belong to Bioware and EA**

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"Ugg" as i slowly started to regain conciseness I realized one thing...I was very hung over. "Never again" I muttered to myself._ Yeah right, how many times have you said that._ I always seem to say that when I wake up with a bad hangover but I seem to forget that little promise soon after.

As I slowly start to stir I try to take stock of my surroundings. "Ugg where the hell did i pass out now?" I slowly open my eyes and am thankful to find out that the lights are off. Nothing worse than waking up drunk in a bright ass room, it just seems to make the hangover that much worse.

I slowly look around the unfamiliar setting trying to remember what I did last night. I remember going to the Piano Bar and drinking a ridiculous amount of alcohol and making a complete fool of myself, but then again that is what you are supposed to do when you go there. (Heh good times) And after meeting up with some random chick that is when it starts to get kinda fuzzy. "Man I finally hook up with someone and I can't remember what happens...go figure." I grumble to myself.

As I sit up I notice I am in a dark room with large windows along the far wall. I can see the night sky so I know I haven't been asleep that long...or I just slept through the day, that always disorients you knowing you just lost a whole day passed out. "Ugg never again" As I throw my legs over the bed I notice it's not really a bed per say with a big comfy mattress and fluffy pillows, but it was more like a metal table with an itchy blanket thrown on top. "Man where the hell am I?" Did I get arrested and thrown in the drunk tank? I think to myself as I slowly stumble my way to look outside.

The first think I notice it the sheer amount of stars out tonight. Witch means either the power is out in the city, or I am out in the middle of BFE. And Stephanie is the only one I know who lives out in the middle of know where and this is definitely not her place. This place looks so cold and clinical, with the sharp angles of the walls and cold metal floors. As I shuffle around looking for a light switch i suddenly freeze in place. When waking up from a killer hangover your brain normally takes some time to process things. You might run into someone and not even notice they are there until a few seconds later while you brain sorts through all the information it has just received in its drunken haze. As I slowly turned back toward the window to get a better look outside I again notice the sheer amount of stars. Again if the power was out or I was in the middle of no were that would make sense. But what didn't make sense was that there were stars everywhere! "Wha..." I press my face against the freezing glass and look in every direction, when I look up all I see are stars, to left stars, to the right stars, I look down freaking stars. "W WH WHAT THE FUCK!" I stumble away from the window in a panic not believing what I just saw, and fall flat on my ass.

I sit there in a daze trying to process the fact that I just looked outside and saw nothing but freaking space. Like outer space, the final frontier, the great beyond! I slowly start to crawl back to the windows to get another look. As I peek outside I am again met with the dizzying view of...nothing. Vast amount of just nothing, with trillions of tiny pin pricks of light. "How is this even possible? I cant be in space" I think to myself. Then it hits me, that chick drugged me! "That Bitch!" I all but yell. She must have slipped something into my drink robbed me and now I am hallucinating!

As I reach for my wallet to check and see if it's still there I grab nothing but my bare ass. And that's when I finally notice I have no clothes on. The only thing I have on is a small medical gown. " Ah shit, she drugged me and sold all my organs on the black market." I frantically check myself to see if I am sporting any new scars and notice none and breathe a sigh of relief knowing that all my organs are still there...I think. "Well screw this! If they haven't harvested my organs yet I'm sure as hell not going to wait around for them to finish the job!"

I start making my way to the corner of the room where I can barely make out a set of double doors when suddenly a muffled explosion could be heard somewhere in the distance causing the ground to shake. And for the second time in the past few minutes I stumbled on drunken feet and land hard on my backside. " What the hell was that" I grumbled, messaging my aching tail bone. As I slowly started to get back on my feet, I was startled by the sudden sound of Klaxons' blaring and the intense brightness of the lights coming on. "Freaking lights" I mumble "Dont they know i have a terrible hang over?" As I stumble my way through the now open door I hear the sound of gun fire, and the muffled yells of people in the distance. "Oh man can this get any worse! I wake up naked, hallucinating of being in space and now I am in a freaking war zone!" I yell as I stumble from another floor shaking explosion just down the hall.

As I steady myself trying not to fall and bruise my ego and tailbone again the doors across the hall slide open and for a brief second I see someone in the door way. I stand there trying to focus on the form in front of me when it suddenly streaks towards me in a flash of crimson, and again for the 3rd time today I end up on my ass. It takes a second to process what just happened, but as I look up I notice that form standing over me and the feel of cold steel pressed against my forehead.

As I look up at my attacker I first notice the dark red shoulder length hair, and pale face speckled with freckles and lined with faint scars , and strikingly vibrant green eyes. As I continued to stare at my beautiful attacker I noticed the scars and eyes seemed to pulse red almost like a heartbeat.

"What the fuck is going on and where the hell am I?" she snarled. But all I could do is continue to stare, and then it dawned on me who this goddess standing above me was. "Commander Shepard?" I whispered barely audible past my lips. And that's when I think my brain finally had enough and just snapped. I slowly started to chuckle witch then turned into a manic cackle "Holy hell, she drugged me with some really good shit!


	2. Chapter 2: Fireball

**A/S: Howdy everyone thanks for those who reviewed and those of followed. Nice to know someone didn't mind the random words I typed and called a story.**

**Figured I should put out the second chapter fairly quick since the first one seemed so short and well I didn't have anything to do tonight besides sleep but that is overrated. Ok this one is a bit longer and well I still have no clue as on how to write so I might end up a bit long winded in spots. **

**Just toss up a review and let me know what I should work on so maybe I can get better. Oh and sorry if you ended up getting a crazy amount of update alerts for the second chapter I am still fighting with and trying to learn how to properly post stories. Enjoy**

**P.S. I didn't proof read this so if there are any glaring mistakes please let me know via PM and I will fix it when I have the chance**

While I have never seen someone have a mental break down I can only assume it is quite unnerving, and the fact that Shepard slowly took a couple of steps back only help solidify that claim.

"Umm...you ok?"

As my laughter dies down I can only stare at her with the biggest grin on my face. I mean I can very well talk to a hallucination that would just be insane.

"Are you like, a crazy person?" she cautiously asks

"I am quite sure they will say so" I continue to laugh as I picture myself wearing a Guy Fawkes mask.

I think its safe to say we were both distracted by my insane ramblings as neither of us noticed the metallic sound coming from the door way I just came through. "_Hostiles Detected_"

With speed I wouldn't have thought possible, Shepard's hand snaps up and she quickly unloads into the head of the security mech with her pistol, resulting in the mech overloading sending parts flying in every direction. And it seems that when I say every direction I really mean right at me, as I am suddenly hit with dozens of tiny shrapnel from the exploding mech.

"Gah! Shit man that freaking hurt! What the hell?" As I pull my hand back from a spot right above my left eye I notice its red from the blood no beginning to trickle down my face. I look up and face the Commander as she slowly puts her gun down satisfied that the room is now clear. "I'm not hallucinating am I? This shit is really happening?" I all but whine.

"I guess you don't know whats going on here either do you" she asks as she looks down at me with a disappointed look on her face.

Well hell this is really happening I am stuck in the Mass Effect universe. I mean how is that even possible? Its a freaking game! Not real life! "Shit, I think I need a drink"

As the Commander looks down at me, no doubt wondering who this poor fool is, I notice the corner of her lip twitch a couple of times until a lopsided grin is plastered on her face. "Well I don't know about you but I think we should get a move on...and maybe try and find you some clothes?"

As I think about that statement for a minute I follow her eyes and look down. It would appear with my hysterics and the bit with the mech, I have been left in a position where my medical gown does little to cover my nether region. I quickly scramble to my feet doing my best to cover myself, and I am sure I am positively glowing red. "Its uh...cold in here" I blurt out.

"HA" Shepard barks out a quick laugh as she give me a once over with her eyes, then turns and wave for me to follow "Come on lets find out where we are."

As we move through the hallways we don't run into much resistance, just a few mech's that Shepard quickly dispatches with a couple of well aimed shots to the head. Well I have a few ways I can play this. I can either tell her everything I know about the ME world, lie and say I amnesia or something, or try stretch the truth a bit and try to act like I am just another guy in the Mass Effect world. "So whats your name?"

"Alex Stevens" I respond without thinking. Well shit there went the amnesia angle. "And yours?"

"Ryoa Shepard" she says as she looks over her shoulder trying to gauge my reaction.

Guess I'll play along. "Wait like, THE Ryoa Shepard? Commander Ryoa Shepard, savior of the Citadel? Thanks to the scars on her face and the creepy red glowing eyes I know this is sometime after the first game. And I am pretty sure I know when in the second.

"The one and only." she said with a smirk

"Well what are you doing here?" I ask trying to probe for as much information about her as I can. Need to figure out

"Hell if I know. I was on the Normandy scouting for Geth when we were attacked. I was trying to save ass of a pilot when there was an explosion that got me spaced. I blacked out and next thing I know I am waking up on an operating table being yelled at by some lady over the comms telling me to get to the hanger. I lost contact with her right before I found you."

Well that answers that question, we are on the Project Lazarus station at the start of ME2. At least I can tell her where we are now. "Umm do you have any clue how long you were out?"

"No, why?" she asks, as she looks around a corner for any more mechs

"Umm...well..t- that happened 2 years ago" I stammer afraid of how she will react. Maybe I should have just waited and found Jacob and let him break the news.

She stops and turns around and stares at me with a blank face. I cant make out what she is thinking at all. _Damn what a poker face, do not play cards with her! _"Two years? Are you shitting me?"

"No, everyone thought you were dead. They held a funeral and everything on the Citadel."

Shepard continues to stare at me when a brief flicker of emotion shows "What about the rest of my team? Did anyone else die?"

"I'm not sure Commander. I heard there were a few casualties, someone named Presley I think and some engineers I don't remember them saying anyone else. I'm sorry."

"Its ok once we get out of here I will try and find out more of what happened."

As we continued making our way through the halls, trying to find our way to the Hangers. I wonder when the hell are we going to find Jacob. It feels like we have been wondering around forever. Then as we round another corner we hear shooting at the end of the hall. _Ah speak of the devil. _Shepard picks up the pace and jogs to the end of the hall. We squat down next to the door and Shepard turns to issue some instructions. "Ok I am going to go in, I want you to wait here while I clear out this next room. There is a lot of gun fire and don't need you getting hurt."

"Got it"

"And please try to remember that you are in a medical gown, it gets kinda distracting when you keep flashing me." and with that she turns around and makes her way into the next room immediately firing at an unseen enemy.

I quickly pull the gown down again cursing the fact that I haven't found any freaking clothes to wear, and wait for the gunfire to stop. A few moments later all the noise dies down in the next room and I peak around the corner to make sure the coast is clear. Shepard is standing there talking to a tall dark skinned man, and true to the game Jacob is freaking ripped! I suddenly feel very self conscious. While I am no push over when it comes to my strength comparing myself to how cut he is just kinda makes me a bit envious.

I stand up and walk into the room making sure my gown is tied nice and tight as I don't want to get teased by Shepard again. Upon seeing me Jacob quickly draws his pistol and points it straight at me.

"Whoa easy there man, I'm with her." I quickly say as I put my hand in the air and point to Shepard.

Shepard puts her hand on Jacobs arm slowly pushing it down "Its ok Jacob I found him on the way here, he is just trying to stay alive and get out of here."

Jacob narrows his eyes while he looks at me and I can tell he doesn't trust me, but what can I do? I mean look at me! I am and unarmed almost naked guy covered in cuts and blood how dangerous can I be! Well I guess when I say it like that I might look a bit suspicious. "We thought you were dead." he says as he lowers his gun but keeps his finger on the trigger.

"Wait, WHAT? You thought I was dead? I yell in surprise my eyes going wide at the fact that they actually knew I was here. I kinda just assumed I just appeared when I woke up, I mean that's how all those stories on the web normally work right? "Why am I here? How did I get here?" I quickly close the gap between us as I try to find out what is going on.

His gun quickly shoots back up and his other had starts to glow with his biotics. This display of force snaps me out of my attempt to find answers and has be again backing up with my hands up.

"That's not for me to answer. You can ask Miranda the person in charge of this facility when we find her."

"Fine" I mumble as I irritatedly rub my hand through my hair, only to notice I no longer have any hair, just a fine fuzz that tickles when I touch it. _What the hell! How the fuck did I not notice they shaved me head. _

While I continue to fume about my missing hair out of the corner of my eye I see Jacob lean over and whisper to Shepard "Be careful of this one Commander I am pretty sure he is going to become a problem. I assume you saw them?" He asks her while nodding in my direction.

"Yeah I did, and he does seem a "bit" unstable but I think he is just confused. But lets not worry about that right now. Lets find Miranda and get the hell out of here."

"What ever you say Commander, but just watch your back."

Shepard looks at the insignia on Jacobs left chest of a white hexagon flanked on both sides by orange bars matching the lower half of the image. "Yeah...watch my back" with that she turns around and starts heading to the door.

"I'm pretty sure she is more wary of you than me, Cerberus." I say as I walk by him adding venom to the last word. _Yeah I heard ya asshole_. I stop and look over my shoulder "I expect answers before this is all over and done with." Then continue on after the commander.

Shortly after catching up to the Commander, Jacob gets a call from Wilson, _that slimy rat, always wish they gave you chance to kill him before Miranda did._ With Jacob and Shepard clearing the way we make our way to him in no time. We walk into the room and even Wilson looks startled to see me. As they start to talk to Shepard I ignore the conversation knowing what they were going to talking about and just fume about what the situation. "Alex"

Hearing my name snaps me out of my brooding as I look over at Shepard.

"Lets go we don't want to keep The Illusive Man waiting" she says just dripping with sarcasm.

As we get closer to the hanger they fight a few more mechs taking them out easy enough and follow Wilson to the hanger door. As he types away at the code on the door he urges us to hurry "Come on were almost to the.." The door slides open and there in all her catsuit glory stands The Cerberus Cheerleader. "Miranda! We thought you were" BLAM

"Dead" Miranda says as a nice spray of blood and gore come out the back of Wilson's head and all over my face.

"OH COME ON!" I yell as I start to wipe the gore from my face and spit what ever got inside my mouth on the floor. "What is up with shit blowing up in my face! First a robot now some guys head!"

My outburst caught Miranda by surprise. She quickly recovered from her surprise and brought her gun up a second time aimed at me. Time seemed to slow down as Miranda pointed her pistol at me. I knew immediately that she was going to shoot. _Well shit...I didn't even make it off of the freaking station_ _before I died. I figured I would be able to as least try and join Shepard's crew some how and help out with the Collectors...well shit. _I closed my eyes right as she fired I didn't expect to feel any pain but damn did my ears hurt...wait why would my ears hurt if I just got shot in the face, and for that matter why am I sitting here thinking to myself if I am dead. I crack my eyes open to see Shepard had pushed Miranda's gun to my right having the gun go off right next to my head _ah that's why my ears hurt, damn that was loud. _And her other hand is holding her pistol underneath Miranda's chin.

"You seem awful trigger happy Miranda. First you shoot Wilson before you could even question him, and then for no apparent reason you try to shoot Alex here."

Miranda just looks at me then over at Shepard "First I knew Wilson betrayed me there was no reason to question him. And him" she gestured toward me "he should already be dead. I saw him as a potential thereat and wanted to eliminate it before anything happened. Now if you don't mind Shepard we need to get off this station before it explodes, are we done here?"

"As long as you put the gun away and get ALL of us out of here alive yeah were done." Shepard said as she released Miranda and put her pistol away.

That whole conversation most likely would have made me quite mad if I had heard it but still being in a bit of shock from almost dieing and the fact that all I could hear at the moment was a ringing in my ear I missed everything that was said. With a slight bit of confusion I look at Shepard as she tries to talk to me. Looking a bit confused from not understanding what she was saying she just rolls her eyes grabs my arm and leads me onto the shuttle.

Finally we are off that damn station and on our way to see The Illusive Man. The adrenalin is finally wearing off and I lean over with my face in my hands and start to let the events since waking up sink in. I mean first I am in a freaking video game, second this is sure as hell real. They might sound and look like the characters in the game but they all flesh and blood...blood then there was the blood. I have never seen a dead body before but they were all over the station and I just ignored them. And that whole bit with Wilson, just thinking about it is making my stomach turn. I need to stop thinking about this for now or it will eat me alive.

I look up and realize that they had just got done asking Shepard all the questions from her past. _Shit I really needed to know that stuff. Now I have to learn it by asking around. _As I look across as Miranda I see her digging in a first aid kit. When she notice's me staring she hands me some disinfectant wipes to clean all the gore off.

As I clean my self off I figure its time to get some answers. "So Miranda, Jacob wont tell me what I am doing here and y'all seem to think I might be some kinda threat so what give? What the hell is going on?

Miranda keeps messing with the first aid kit and I can tell my questions got Shepard's attention. "I agree Miranda. What is someone doing on a Cerberus facility and has no clue as to why they are there. And every time he turns around someone is pointing a gun at him?"

Miranda finally stops messing with the first aid kit and looks right at me. "You really don't remember?" _Oh shit I really do have amnesia _

"No...I only remember being out drinking then waking up in a dark room on a freaking table right before I met Shepard."

Miranda continues to look at me as if searching for something. Then looks over to Shepard who then waves her hand at her in a clearly annoyed _please continue motion_. "Fine, as of how you got onto the station we still do not know. One minute we were running early tests on Shepard's body" Shepard cringes at that "I walk out of the room to grab some more coffee and when I come back you are just standing there in the room with a dazed look on your face. That was nearly 2 years ago, 1 year and 7 months to be exact.

After hearing that news I could only stare blankly at Miranda, everything I tried to say something my mouth would just not work. _Almost 2 years I have been here? How is that even possible. I mean just yesterday I was drinking...right? _

Since I don't say anything Miranda continues with the same cold clinical tone. You were taken into custody on the spot by Jacob and we spent a few months interrogating you." Shepard narrowed her eyes at that. She knew that interrogating most likely meant torture. "You only told us that story you just said you were drinking then woke up on the station. You also told us you were from Earth, and from Texas but beyond that you didn't give us any more useful information. So we left you locked in the brig until we could find a use for you."

Shepard turned to me and put her hand on my shoulder "So you really don't remember how you got here or any part of the last 2 years?"

I numbly shake my head and with a dry throat choke out a "No"

"Well as time passed we continued our progress with the Commander. We improved her and gave her several upgrades, A full bone graph to make them stronger and less likely to break. A skin weave that makes her more durable, just putting a nick on her skin takes a significantly more force than a normal human. Along with extensive cybernetic implants to repair parts of her we could not regrow or salvage."

"You know I am sitting right here, right? Alive...breathing, a human being."

"You are correct Commander I am sorry, for the past two years you were just my project. I tried to distance myself from the fact that you were, are human. It made it easier to work on you less emotional attachment."

"Gee thanks" Shepard said with a sardonic smile

"But as I was nearing completion I wanted to go one step further. Shepard was already an amazing Infiltrator with amazing stealth and tech capabilities and is probably the best shot with a sniper rifle I have ever seen.

"Wow an actual complement"

Miranda just rolled her eyes at the Commanders jabs. "As I was saying we wanted to go one step further and see what we could do about biotics.

"Wait, but I'm not a biotic!" Shepard says with a confused look on her face "I have never even been exposed to Element Zero!"

"I am aware of that. We already have ways to improve someones biotics that have learned over the years with other cell's. But we have never given someone biotics. We didn't know what would happen if we tried it could have killed you and all our effort would have been for naught." She states with a wave of her hand.

As Miranda is saying all this I am starting to see where this is going a knot is starting to form in my stomach and me breathing is getting a bit ragged. _Surely they didn't, but then again this is Cerberus we are talking about_

"And that's where Alex comes in" Miranda states gesturing toward me. _The knot tightens._ "We needed to test it out before we tried it on you Commander. I was given the go ahead and we started work immediately." _and tighter_ "We installed the amps based off our other projects success, two behind the ears and the other at the base of the skull. Each amp is wired to a different part of the brain and helps with the control of the more difficult moves and also enables the user to create a higher overall release of biotics before the chip burns out and fries the brain."

Miranda continues to explain about the difficult process of exposing the body to Element Zero without killing the person. But I really wasn't listening. I slowly reached up behind my ear and brushed me finger along the amp, immediately pulling my hand back. The foreign object sticking out of my head unnerved me. I reached back and to continue the inspection. It ran from the bottom of my ear right at the pressure point all along the back and just to the top. And that's when I noticed the scars. From ear to ear there was a scar running along the base of my skull where they meet at the other amp there. I continued to follow the scar from bottom of my skull running up the back and stopping just at the crown my head. But it didn't stop there, the scar also continued down the length of my spine. That must have been where they injected me with element zero to flood my nodes. As my hand started to shake the only thought going thought my mind was that they cut me open. _They split my head like a watermelon and poked around in my skull. I was nothing but a fucking lab rat, a failed lab rat discarded and left to die!_

As I looked up with a bit of a crazy look in my eyes I realize that I might have just said that out loud. All three of the other occupants in our tiny shuttle were looking at me wide eyed and nervous. There must have been something in the way I said it because even Shepard look slightly nervous. The knot in my stomach just kept getting tighter and was close to to snapping The shaking started to get a bit more violent and the absolute rage that I was feeling right now was only getting worse. I looked Miranda straight in the eye and then the knot broke releasing all the pent up emotions in one giant tidal wave

I jumped out of my seat with the intent to kill "YOU USED ME AS A FUCKING GUINEA PIG!" And suddenly all the hairs on my body were standing on end as the air in the shuttle became statisticallyly charged and then there was a blinding light as my rage fueled biotics flared...and then the light faded and my hate slowly drained away I was suddenly to tired to care. I finally notice Miranda had her arm on my shoulder as I followed her arm up my body I saw that in her hand was a giant needle and it was plunged right into the base of my neck.

"Ah...so that's...what the...first aid kit was...for" I slur as the drugs were quickly taking affect. I grinned at Miranda "Ha your...smart" Teetering on the edge of conciseness I looked at Shepard " I guess the Bitch. .….really did drug me...with the good shit." And then the blackness consumed me.

**A/S: Holy hell this seemed like a long as chapter to me. Well this seemed to ramble on lots of talking and not a lot of action perhaps I can work on that in later chapters. This chapter was written without the aid of alcohol so will see how that affects what people think about it.**

**Also the part where I am talking about the amps, If you didn't notice I am talking about Jack. Now I have no clue how her amps really work and I couldn't find any info when I looked (I didn't look very hard) I deiced to just kinda wing it and put some random stuff in there that sounded ok. I m not very good on the techno speak or medical jargon so I just dumbed it down. **

**Oh well next chapter will most likely be a lot more talky as I try to set more of the stage for Alex or I might deiced to hold off and insert it into a later chapter what do y'all think? **

**Any ways peace**

**Prizz**


	3. Chapter 3: Irish Coffee for the Crown

**A/N: Ok finally got another chapter out I will save my excuses till after the chapter, for now read and enjoy. Oh and sorry this is kinda short only 5700 words. I think most of my chapters will be around this length or shorter but we will see as I become more comfortable with writing.**

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"Ugg" as I slowly start to regain conciseness I realized one thing...I was very hung over " Never again" I muttered to myself. Yeah right, how many times have you said that. I always seem to say that when I wake up with a bad hangover but I seem to forget that little promise soon after.

As I slowly start to stir I try to take stock in my surroundings. "Ugg where the hell did I pass out now?" As I say that I am hit with a sudden sense of déjà vu. And all at once it comes back to me, exploding mechs, death all around me, and a brilliant blue flash of biotics. My eyes pop open and I bolt upright only to immediately fall back on the bed I am laying on. As I begin to struggle I look down and notice I have restraints on my hands and feet, and that immediately sends me into a panic. _Shit, shit shit, Miranda handed me over to freaking Cerberus! Now they are going to test on me and find out how I survived being turned into a biotic! _

The strange clicking sound of a gun being extended catches my attention. I find the source of the noise to my left and notice a guard pointing an Avenger assault rifle right at me. "Stop struggling and stay still" I immediately freeze up. We both continue to stare at each other until the door behind him slides open and an older woman with short gray hair walks in and speaks to the guard in a smooth British accent. "Put that thing away you will scare our guest"

She turns to the guard and whispers something to him. He reluctantly stows his firearm and walks out of the room. As she starts to walk over to the side of the bed she gives me a motherly smile "Hello Mr. Stevens, my name is Dr. Chakwas."

"Umm...hi."

"It's good to see you awake, you have been out for a while now. How are you feeling?"

I am a bit confused at seeing Dr. Chakwas, but hearing her talk is rather soothing, and I completely forget about the panic I was just in. "I'm fine, I think, just a bit groggy. Where am I? What happened?"

"Your on board the Normandy SR-2. And as to what happened you had a biotic flare and we sedated you so you wouldn't hurt yourself or those on board the shuttle you were on."

"Oh"

She chuckles to herself at my obvious confusion. "You were brought on board at the Commanders request. It seems Cerberus wanted to keep you on board their station but the Commander said you were her responsibility and demanded that you be transferred to the Normandy."

"That is correct. After what happened to you I couldn't allow you to once again become a "guest" of Cerberus."

I look over at the new voice that just walked into the room and saw Commander Shepard walking over to stand next to Dr. Chakwas. "How is he Dr.?"

"Besides being a bit confused, all his readings are normal. I was just explaining to him where he was and why he was here."

"Umm thanks for keeping Cerberus from cutting me open again but if you "saved" me from them why am I tied to the bed? I emphasize that by pulling on the restraints around my wrists.

"Well with the little stunt you pulled on the shuttle we were not sure how you would react when you woke up, and we didn't want you punching a hole in the side of the ship. So I thought it best to have you restrained until we made sure you were calm." she explains with a slight smirk tugging at her lips.

Well that makes sense I guess, if I thought I was on the Cerberus station I would have started throwing warps left and right (if I knew how) "Yeah, sorry about that. I think I let my emotions get away from me a bit there. That all came to a bit of shock for me"

The Commander looks over my shoulder staring at the wall with a far away look in her eyes "Trust me I know just how you feel." She looks down at her hand inspecting it, clenching and unclenching it.

I can tell what she is thinking. Being brought back from the dead, filled with so many cybernetics just how much of her is her? Is she even her? Is she a clone, a robot? And here I am complaining over having a couple of surgeries...that I didn't ask for...and then was left for dead. "Commander? Are you ok?"

She blinks and then looks up again being brought out of her thoughts. A soft smile forms on her lips as she begins to speak "Yeah...yeah I'm good. Just know I will do what I can to help you get somewhere safe. It's the least I can do since what happened to you was for my sake."

"Thanks Commander I appreciate it. But first do you think we could start with getting me out of these restraints?"

She looks down at my still restrained limbs and chuckles to herself as she starts to untie me from the medical table.

I sit up throwing my legs over the bed and notice I am STILL in the freaking medical gown I was wearing when I first woke up on the station. "Oh and while I am making requests do you have any freaking clothes I could have? I'm tired of flashing everyone"

"I am sure the doctor can scrounge you up some extra clothes, I need to talk to Miranda about our next mission."

Ah yes Miranda I almost forgot she was on board, Jacob too. Hell the only non Cerberus crew on board are us three and Joker. I never really liked Cerberus from the games but I never really had a problem with the crew of the SR-2 knowing they were not really involved with anything sinister. But after what they did to me it just became personal and I think I will have a lot of trouble trusting them. "Miranda is on board? And what mission? Your not actually going to work with Cerberus now are you?" I know why she is working with them but to keep up appearances I try to put as much disgust in that question as possible.

"Listen I don't like Cerberus anymore than you do, but right now they are the only ones doing anything to help human colonies." She stops and stares at me for a second and lets out a heavy sigh. "While we were...out of commission, I learned that whole human colonies were going missing. Tens of thousands of humans just vanished, with no clues as to where they went...until now. While you were sedated I went on a small mission to the colony of Freedom's Progress, the most recent colony to go dark. While we were there we found evidence that the Collectors are the ones behind the missing colonists. And right now I am searching for people to help take down them down. And before you even ask, no I have not asked the Council for help because I doubt they would do anything anyways. They did nothing but scoff at me when I tried to tell them what was going on with Saren and the Reapers so I doubt they are going to believe me when I come to them about this. Especially if I pull up in a Cerberus frigate."

I let out a heavy sigh as the commander finishes talking "Your right Commander, I'm sorry I didn't know. I will let you get to your work."

Shepard nods then walks out of the Med-bay heading to Miranda's office. I watch her walk across the mess hall and stop to talk to and older man standing in the kitchen area, whom I can only guess is Rupert the cook. _I wonder if the food really taste like shit... I hope not I am really hungry._ And it seems as my stomach agreed with me as it let out an audible growl.

The sound of someone chuckling grabs my attention and I see the Doctor pulling something out of a cabinet in the corner of the room. "Well I am sure you are ready to get out of here so I will let you change into some clothes. And when you finish you can head out and grab something to eat from Mr. Gardner in the kitchen." She sets said clothes on the bed next to me and started to walk to the door. She reaches over and hits a switch and the windows that led out to the mess fogged over for some privacy.

_Huh, I didn't know they could do that. I guess it makes sense, no better way to ruin ones appetite than trying to eat your lunch while being able to see someone getting operated on. _I inspect the clothes she had given me and they look like the generic Cerberus outfit. Black white and gray shirt, and matching cargo pants. One pair of socks, and even a black pair of boxer briefs, hopefully not used. And on the floor next to the bed are a pair of simple black combat boots. As I finish getting dressed I notice on the sleeves there is a Cerberus logo patched stitched on. "Screw that, no way I am walking around with that on my arm." After a quick scan of the room I find a small knife on a desk and get to work cutting them off.

After successfully not cutting my arm off I walk out of the room and head over to grab some grub. I spot Rupert behind the kitchen stirring a pot of what I can only assume is food. "Hello, Rupert?"

The older man looks up from the pot he is tending to and gives me a broad smile "Why hello there, you must be Alex, the one Commander Shepard brought on board."

"Umm yeah that's me, its nice to meet ya."

"Nice to meet you as well. What can I do for you Alex?"

"Dr. Chakwas said I could come over and grab something to eat. You wouldn't happen to have anything ready would you?"

"It just so happens that I do!" Rupert's eyes light up as he prepares a bowl of what loosely resembles beef stew. "This is my famous Chef Surprise, I guarantee you'll love it!" As he plops down the food on my tray he reaches under the counter and comes back up with a blue bottled drink. "I am told you are a biotic so this drink is a high calorie protein drink that is perfect for you guys."

I wince at being reminded of what I have to deal with now, thank Rupert and head to a table and sit down. I poke at my food trying to figure out what is in it and think I would be better off not knowing and just dig in. I'm surprised when I take my first bite that this is actually really good. The game always made it seem like his cooking was the worst thing ever. I begin to devour the stew taking giant mouth fulls of food, followed by a long pulls of the protein drink. After a few moments I am scraping the bottom of the bowl clean and set it down with a happy burp escaping my lips. I look up and finally notice the looks of horror from a few of the Cerberus crew sitting at the table across from mine. "What the fuck y'all looking at?" I growl out annoyed at being stared at.

"You actually liked that? We can barely keep from throwing it up let alone devour it like that"

"So what if I liked it, what does it matter to you?" I grab my tray and threw it in the cleaning unit next to the kitchen and stormed off toward the elevator. "Just mind your own business next time, fucking Cerberus." I say over my shoulder as I walk away. I hit the call button on the lift and wait for the doors to open all the while fuming over being gawked at by those asshats. _I suppose I shouldn't be so hard on them, it's not like its their fault what happened to me. I guess it's just going to take some time to get over this. I just need to save my anger for Miranda and Jacob...and this freaking elevator, what the hell is taking it so long. _I kick the door in frustration and lean against the wall and continue to wait for it to open. "Man I need a drink" and then I immediately remember they have a bar on this ship! I start walking to the left side of the ship...err port side I guess and head into the room at the end of the hall.

I walk in and am greeted with a spectacular view of the stars and the blue shimmer of the mass effect field ripple over the ship. "Wow don't think I will ever get used to that sight" I head to the small bar in the right corner of the room and start to rummage around looking for something to drink. I am happy to say that unlike in the game the bar actually had a shelf full of recognizable bottles. There were a few that were in some random alien language but the one that caught my eye was a short glass bottle with the iconic red and gold crown. "Ah Crown Royal my old friend, its good to see they still make you." While I grab some ice for my drink I notice a small wooden box that looks a lot like a humidor. I peek inside and the nice earthy smell of some fine cigars invade my senses. I figure since I am already taking the liquor I might as well pilfer a cigar as well. I gather my spoils and head over to the couch in front of the port side window to enjoy this cigar and a few glasses of Crown to try to relieve some of this stress I have built up.

* * *

I am not sure how long I sat there drinking but it was long enough that I almost finished off the bottle and smoked a couple of cigars. I decided a change of scenery is needed and stumble my way to the lift, bottle in hand. Once in the lift I smack a random button and wait to be dropped off in my mystery location. The doors open and I am greeted with the wide open space of the cargo bay. "Wow this place it pretty big" I mumble to myself as I stumble around taking in sites around me. I look up and see the windows into Grunts future room hoping I am still around when he shows up. Was always a big fan of his, like some giant teddy bear...that could rip your arms off and then beat you to death with them. Maybe I should be careful around him.

Since I am walking around drunk looking up into Grunts room I fail to notice the small stack of boxes in my path, which I promptly trip over sending the bottle flying from my hands as I flail my arms trying to keep my balance. In a futile attempt to grab the bottle and try to save the precious liquid inside I reach my arm out knowing there is no way I would be able to catch it before it hits the ground. But to my surprise the bottle is just floating there right above the ground bathed in a slight blue glow of biotics. As I look at my out stretched arm I see that it is also glowing blue. _Holy shit! I just caught it with biotics! That is so fucking sweet! _As I continue to stare back and forth from the bottle and my glowing arm I start to wonder what else I can do. I stare at the floating bottle and jerk my hand back in an attempt to bioticly pull the bottle back into my hand. I immediately realize my mistake and have to drop to the floor to avoid the bottle as it fly's past me at a ridiculously fast speed then crashes into the elevator just missing the petite red-head that just walked out.

"Oh shitshitshit, are you ok? I didn't hurt you did I? I say as I stumble to my feet and rush over to make sure she is unhurt.

The red-head looks over at the bottle then back at me wide-eyed before she collects herself "No I am fine, just surprised."

I sigh in relief "Thank god, I would have felt terrible if that thing would have hit you. I mean did you see how fast that sucker was flying? I was freaking booking!" I immediately forget about almost killing the red-head as I geek out over my new biotic powers. "I mean if I could do that with a bottle imagine what else I could do...I wonder if I can do a shockwave?" I turn around and concentrate again on my biotics and start the mnemonic I think would create a shockwave.

"NO wait!" the red-head screams and grabs my arm trying desperately to keep me from finishing that move. "I don't think that is a very good idea. We have no clue if what you do is even a shockwave or what it could do to the ship. Least of all the mess it would make with all the cargo flying all over the place."

"Oh...yeah I guess that would be bad wouldn't it." I reach back and rub the back of my head in embarrassment at my near faux pa. "Sorry about that I kinda got carried away. Umm I'm Alex by the way."

"I am Yeomen Kelly Chambers its nice to meet you Alex. I was coming down here to greet you and get to know a bit more about our newest guest. So Mr. Stevens would you care to have a little chat?"

"Yeah sure that would be fine but first do you think I could have my arm back?"

Kelly looks down to see that she is still tightly clutching my arm. She blushes slightly but doesn't let go. Instead she pulls me over to the set of crates I tripped over and sits down pulling me with her. Still clutching my arm Kelly looked up with a smile on her face. "So Mr. Stevens tell me about yourself."

Ah Kelly Chambers the Normandy's loveable shrink and the ships community bicycle...every gets a ride. "Well for starters Please call me Alex, there is no need to be so formal. Second I have a very small personal bubble." I didn't say anymore I only stared at Kelly hoping she got the hint to let go.

"Does personal contact make you uncomfortable." There was no teasing behind the question she just seemed genuinely curious.

I rolled my eyes suppressing a sigh "Only with people I don't know."

Satisfied with my answer she patted my arm and let go. "Well perhaps we can get to know each other. I tend to have a more open personality with the rest of the crew, it helps them relax when we talk. Not only do I help the Commander manage her files, messages, and appointments I also act as the ships counselor. So you can always feel free to come to me if you have anything you wish to talk about."

Kelly and I talk for a bit. I tell her a bit about my past, pretty much what I had apparently already told Miranda. I was from Earth raised in Texas, I was an outdoor kinda person enjoyed sports all the while trying to remember that it is 2185 not 2012. I decided to slip in a bit about some training I have had with firearms and hand to hand combat. I figure she is going to report this little conversation to Miranda and Shepard and if I want to stay on the Normandy I have to prove I can help if need be. Now while I do enjoy shooting at the range and hunting and am a pretty damn good shot with a rifle. The only "training" I have had, was a week-long course at a Firearms and Combat training center. Of course I don't mention that, I just make up a little white lie of an Uncle who was a Marine who taught this all to me as I was growing up. I luckily took some BBJ classes for a couple of years after I got out of high school so that I didn't have to lie about.

Out little chat went on for a bit more before I decided it was time to wrap it up. "Well Kelly this little chat as been fun but my buzz is beginning to fade so I need to go grab some water and perhaps grab some shut-eye. Is there an open bunk or a pod I can use?"

"It has been fun Alex and I appreciate you taking the time to talk. We do have a few open bunks in the crew quarters I can show you if you would like, just follow me."

I follow Kelly into the elevator and a short ride later she is showing me the open bunks that I have to choose from. "Thank you again Kelly perhaps we will talk later."

Kelly flashes me a smile before she responds "I would like that please feel free to talk to me anytime."

As she starts to walk out I remember I still need to learn about how things actually work here. I mean you kinda learn some stuff from the games but I have no clue how to properly work a ME gun or hell even use a omnitool. "Oh and Kelly? Is there a terminal I can get access to the intra...err extranet on? Or perhaps a spare omnitool I could borrow?"

"Yes, those datapads on the table there do have extranet access, and I can also ask Jacob to prepare a spare omnitool for you."

"Thanks again Kelly I'll talk to Jacob after I catch some sleep." As Kelly retreats out of the room I grab one of the datapads and an open bunk in the back of the room. The datapad is remarkably easy to use. It is laid out just like a smart phone with different pages full of small tiles. Thankfully it is a public use datapad so there is no need for passwords or anything and I can log right in. When the extranet page opens I am immediately wishing I had a personal one because it looks like the last page that was viewed was the Fornax site. I remind myself to make sure I wash my hands when I'm done. I begin searching for How to videos and instructional diagrams on everything from Weapons, omni-tools, Element Zero, and anything else I think could help me with understanding and surviving in the Mass Effect universe. And just in case I download the latest issue of Fornax...you know so I can learn about aliens...yeah learn.

* * *

I woke to the clank of the footlocker at the end of the bed and the slight shaking of the bunk. I open my eyes to see a pair of feet disappear into the bed above mine. I look around the room to see that it is now almost full of other crew members. _I guess one of the shifts just ended _I think to myself as I look at the time on the datapad that I feel asleep reading. 0400 "_been asleep for only 3 hours or so...damn" _I can never get right back to sleep when I wake up so I guess I should get up. This will help me get used to ship time anyways.

I drag myself out of bed and head to the washroom to freshen up a bit. I strip out of my clothes and toss them into the sanitizer and jump under the hot water coming from the shower. Much to my disappointment the shower is on the timer and turns off after only 5min. As I dry off I stand in front of the mirror and get a good look at myself. First thing I noticed was I lost a lot of weight. I couldn't have weight more than 150lbs. I always had a stocky build, I remember my coach saying I was built like a fireplug, perfect for my fullback position in football. But with that extra weight lost my muscle actually had definition. Guess I should have focused more on my cardio rather than my weight lifting. And unfortunately the next thing I noticed were the scars. Again another permanent reminder of what was done to me. There were also some other scars on my chest and along my arm that didn't look my surgical scars, the almost looked like burn marks probably from my "interrogation sessions." But at least my favorite part about me was still the same...well second favorite. My eyes still had that sharp piercing gaze. The vibrate green that fades into the golden brown always got me complements from the ladies one thing I never really minded.

"Mr. Stevens are you alright?" I nearly jump out of my skin as I quickly look around the washroom for who ever had just snuck up on me but I see that I am still alone. "You have been standing in front of the mirror for the past 5 minutes and I was unsure if you were well"

"Who the fuck..." I trail off as I suddenly remember EDI. How could I forget about EDI the ships Artificial Intelligence.

"I am the ships Artificial Intelligence the ship's crew refers to me as EDI." as she repeats me thoughts

"Ah...yeah ok, well umm nice to meet you EDI but when I am in the washroom please try to refrain from you know..peeping. Its kinda weird knowing someone is watching me while I'm showering."

"As you wish Mr. Stevens, logging you out."

I shake my head and get dressed and head out to the mess to grab a cup of coffee. I find a cup and see there is a fresh carafe that looks like it was just made. _Guess they always have some wake up juice on hand since there is always someone awake on a military ship. _I pour a cup and take small sip and am strongly consider spitting it out. "Gah this tastes horrible. Nothing worse than shitty coffee." I grumble to myself as I turn around to take a seat at one of the tables. I immediately stop and suppress a girly scream at the site of the Commander staring at me while sitting and drinking her own cup of coffee.

"Shit Shepard didn't see you sitting there, scared the crap out of me. I am going to end up having a heart attack if that is how everyone on this ship greets me." She smiles as I sit across from her and we sit there in a silence for a few moments. "So what are you doing up so late" I ask as I take another sip of the liquid crap in my cup.

Shepard notices my grimace and reaches into her pocket and pulls out a small flask and holds it out for me to take. "Couldn't really sleep so figured I would get an early start. Here this might make it a little more tolerable."

I take the flask from her and open and take a small sniff and smell vanilla with a hint of caramel "Nothing like a little Irish coffee to brighten your day" I say with a smile as I pour a generous portion into my drink. "Thanks Shepard, still taste's like shit but at least if I have enough I will just forget about it."

"No problem, just don't make it a habit of drinking all our booze and throwing bottles around in the cargo hold."

My cheeks flush slightly in my embarrassment of getting scolded. "I guess that means you talked to Kelly?"

"Yeah she said you were drunkenly throwing around your biotics down there."

"I would like to think of it as enthusiastically discovering my biotics, but you are correct I should probably stay away from the Port-side Observation deck. Me and alcohol have always a bit of a love hate relationship." We continued to sip our coffee in silence just enjoying the peace and quite for a bit. While I sit here with Shepard I figure now was the time to try to convince her to let me stay on the Normandy as part of her crew.

"Shepard? I have a favor to ask" She looks up from her cup with a questioning look waiting for my question. I look her square in the eye and prepare for the argument to come of how I can be of use to her. "Let me stay on the Normandy as part of your crew"

"Ok"

"Now wait a sec hear me out I...wait ok? Just like that?" I say with a surprised look on my face.

Shepard just grins "Yup after talking with Miranda and Kelly we figure your Biotics are to good an asset to pass up. Dr. Chakwas says your biotic nodules are practically bursting with eezo and with enough practice you could be a ridiculously strong biotic. Maybe even as strong as some Asari Matriarchs."

"Whoa..." I say in my best Keanu Reeves impersonation. "That strong huh?" Shepard just smirks and nods her head "Whoa" again with Keanu Reeves

"I know you aren't best bud with Miranda but I have instructed her to start training you in how to properly use your biotics. I have also told Gardner to double your portion during meal time and to keep and steady supply of that biotic drink he has in your hands."

I just nod my head glad that this was going in a favorable direction. And that I didn't have to beg to be on the team, and glad I was going to learn how to use my biotics

"I also told Jacob to make sure you are to be outfitted with a set of armor and some weapons. Along with making sure you know how to properly handle them."

Ah good idea, haven't even thought about getting my own set of armor so it should be fun to see what I get.

"Your Biotic training will start with Miranda at 0800 and your training with Jacob will start at 1400 hours. I expect them to both run you ragged so I suggest getting a quick power nap in one of the pods. It can induce sleep and wake you up at your desired time. We will be picking up a few new recruits on Omega in a few day so until then you are to do everything they tell you."

I stand up and thrown off a quick salute "Aye aye Ma'am!" that gains a small chuckle out of her and I turn to grab an empty pod but stop short and turn back around "Oh and Commander? Thanks...for everything I mean. I am not sure what I would have done if you didn't let me stay."

"Your part of my crew now Alex, I take care of my own. And I could always use an extra pair of eyes that aren't Cerberus watching my back. Now go get some shut-eye you are going to need it."

With that I jump into the empty pod at the end of the row excited about the start of my new life. Now I just hope I stay alive long enough to enjoy it.

* * *

**A/N: Ok well first off sorry for taking so freaking long to update this story. I get distracted by shiny things easily and was pulled off in other directions. When I tried to come back and write I just didn't feel up to it and just kept putting it off. Hopefully I can get back into the excitement I had when I started this and start pumping out some chapters. But we will see what happens since I still have no clue as to what I am doing.**

**I also learned something, writing a small synopsis on your characters is a good idea. Because I totally forgot what type of Shepard I was going to write and what her background is. So if anyone notices any continuity issues with my characters give me a shout out so i can fix it.**

**Oh and thanks again to all those who have read, reviewed fav'd and followed this story. I appreciate your support and the fact that you might actually like what I am doing.**

**Oh and another thing. I was looking at the Mass Effect time line and it looks like the second game took close to a full year to complete. So I am going to take that into account when traveling from place to place. So dont be supised to see that it take a week to reach say Illium from the Citadel or longer depending on where they are going. This should help with giving Alex plenty of time to practice and become a Biotic God! That or plenty of chances to get himself killed.**


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